Being Pakistani, especially a muhajir– meaning that my grandparents are all originally from India and then moved to the newly created Islamic nation during the partition–, I have come to absolutely abhor some things about my culture. Especially values and ideals on marriage.
The “desi”, or South Asian, culture in which I’ve grown up has some very admirable qualities to it. Other aspects, however, are just downright unhealthy. An article I just found on the BBC makes me want to scream.
Veteran Investigations is an agency based in Mumbai that offers the service of spying and checking up on prospective brides and grooms for families that want to make sure that their current loot is fit for their son or daughter.
I mean, seriously. The desi family’s need for control is getting out of hand. The need to check out a suitor like they’re cattle is debilitating. They can’t handle the fact that they are more and more losing out on any say when it comes to who their offspring marry. Personally, I think it’s a good thing that they are. When families get too involved, isn’t it just inevitable that something’s about to get screwed up?
It’s choosing a life partner. At the end of the day, one person is the one living, eating, laughing, sleeping, crying, loving with them. It’s their decision. They may be stupid about it, sure, but they know what they want more than others do. In desi culture, the parents have a habit of feeling that they have every right to control their childrens’ lives, because they know what’s best. But this is one place where I have yet to see their judgement be consistently rational.
In other words, these investigators are smart as hell.
Ab imo pectore,